Tuesday, February 28, 2012
How Do I Keep My Head Above Water?
As a mom, sometimes it’s one of the hardest things to admit. With all of our responsibilities and expectations, both of what others have for us and what we put on ourselves, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. But we often times are the last ones to ask for help or acknowledge that we are struggling.
I have these days from time to time and honestly feel a little guilty. Guilty that maybe I am not loving my children to the fullest or giving them the attention they need. Guilty that I should be getting X, Y & Z done, and why can’t I seem to accomplish simple daily activities. Guilty that I do not always find pleasure in the sometimes tedious tasks of making lunches, folding laundry, helping with homework, volunteering for school functions, special school assignments, menu planning, making dinner. On top of other household responsibilities like grocery shopping, paying bills, scheduling repair men, scheduling Dr visits, care of the pet, decorating the home, gardening etc. Oh and lest we not forget CLEANING! It’s a never ending cycle. Once I finish one task, it seems things just multiply in its place! I’m really struggling with finding the perfect balance. Don't get me wrong, I love my family to death and I know that God has trusted me with these wonderful blessings called children. Sometimes, it's just really hard.
In addition I have two part time jobs, am a member of a MOPS goup (which I love), school PTA, do Bible study and am a member of my local Junior League. All of which I enjoy, for the most part. At this current stage in my life, I have 2 children and another on the way, due in April. At 32 weeks pregnant, I find my patience is sorely lacking. I can blame some of it on the pregnancy and some of it on the fact that maybe I am not managing my time well? Maybe I am expecting too much from myself or have very unrealistic expectations? All of this has been weighing heavily on me lately and the thought of adding another child to the mix fills me with anxiety. I have gotten better at "saying no" and know my limits as far as my volunteerism goes with these other organizations. I do feel I need the time away from home from time to time and I really look forward to the bonding time with other moms that these other outlets provide. But perhaps something has got to give.
What I am coming to realize is, I CAN’T DO IT ALL. And I think, maybe that’s ok. I do know that giving myself some grace and trusting in God to lead the way is the best I can do. It's going to be a constant battle but I hope I can find some peace in my heart and the right balance for me and my family. Definitely a work in progress!
I would love to hear from other parents who are struggling with these feelings and how do you deal with it? How are you keeping it all together??
P.S. I’m participating in a blogging event through Blogelina , an online blogging resource for a wealth of information with all things blogging! Check her out!